A different Bete Noir
by sarbey
Summary: AU Kate, Ziva and Ari already knew each other when the Agent took the hostages at the morgue. Can   the team survive when secrets and past tragedies threaten their lives? Will be Kibbs and probably Tiva in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hi

I really didn't think I would get around to write something longer so soon but then an evil plot bunny attacked me at work. Chef wasn't happy. Seems I'm actually supposed to work and not to write. Silly me.

This is my attempt at a longer story based on 'Mexico'. The story is already in my head and if you like, you get more soon.

P.S. Theres past KateAri mentioned but it will be Kibbs, promise!

Please tell me if I make mistakes, I can use the help. My English teacher will thank you.

They're not mine. I have to say this. If I don't then I get sued and I can't afford that.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Kate closed her eyes. Her fingers circled the rim of the red wine glass that stood still untouched in front of her. The little pub in one of Washington's worse areas was bathed in dim light. Somebody took the chair next to her and sat down. The action broke the defeating silence in the otherwise almost empty bar. Kate smiled and let her hair fall in front of her face. This was a customer she had expected.

"Kate."

"Ziva."

The other woman ordered a water and turned to her.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

Kate looked at the woman she still considered her sister.

"I've lied to Tony last week."

If the brunette was startled at the topic she didn't let it show.

" Agent Dinozzo. Why?"

"I've told him I never had a nightmare. I didn't tell him about Adam."

"Kate I…" Ziva hesitated, not sure what to say. Both women tried to avoid speaking about the real reason for this meeting. They knew it wouldn't be pretty. Either woman had duties to fulfil, for their countries, their families, and friends. It had always been difficult to maintain their friendship. And now they had to face another obstacle in form of one dark haired Mossad Officer each one of them loved in her own way.

"Damn it!" Kate took her glass and rushed into the back of the pub where it was darker. Ziva sighed and followed, knowing the young profiler had to get the anger out and needed somebody to yell at. And since she was the only one here at the moment.

'Might as well get over with it', she thought.

Kate stopped at a table, set down her glass and turned to Ziva, her eyes sparkling angrily.

"What the hell happened? Do you have any idea, what Ari's actions are going to cause? He shot two of my colleagues, Gerald 's going to need months of rehab until he can work again if he even does come back. And Gibbs…"

She stopped her ranting, slumped into a chair and rested her head between her arms, letting the cold table sooth her heated forehead.

Ziva took the seat next to her.

"I don't have an apology, Kate and I don't know why Ari did what he did but I'm going to find out. That's a promise."

She regarded the other woman warily.

"Ari would have never harmed you in any way, you know that, don't you? You still mean too much to him. I'm not even sure he knew you had changed jobs."

Kate snorted but it sounded more like a sob to her ears.

"I thought it's your job to know what he's up to. Shouldn't you know what he's doing?"

"I'm his handler not his babysitter."

Despite the situation, Kate had to laugh at that. Trust Ziva to regard a situation like this with humour.

"Don't forget you're his sister, too."

Ziva grimaced.

"Yeah, there's that."

A new customer entered and sat down. For her next words Ziva slipped into Hebrew, taking no chance for anybody to understand them.

_"You know, my father sends his regards. He always thought you would make an excellent field agent, no matter the agency."_

Kate smiled, the foreign language easily coming back to her.

"_How is Director David? Does he still have heart problems?"_ The thought of her former father in law formed a knot in her stomach. She had once considered him a father and not having heard from him for so long made her sad.

_"He is well. Not that he would tell me if he wasn't. You know how he is."_

Oh yes, she knew. The Mossad Director could beat Gibbs when it came to secrecy. She leaned back and closed her eyes. Her head had started pounding about a minute ago. Maybe she shouldn't finish the wine at all. Get home, get some painkillers and then sleep as soon as possible. Yeah, that would be her game plan for tonight. No getting drunk. Maybe then she could come up with a way to tell Gibbs about Ari. How to explain to your boss, that the man who had held his best friend, and two of his colleagues hostage, not to forget that he'd shot him and Gerald, really was one of the good guys. Well, kind of good. She had no idea what Ari had been up to over the last years and his actions a week ago didn't really speak for him.

Oh, and the there was the little fact that he was her ex husband. You didn't fall in love with your captor in only a few hours. No this had taken much longer. And now she had to face the fact that Ari still meant something to her. It wasn't the all-consuming love it had once been but he would always have a piece of her heart. It was, in a way, inevitable. Ziva spoke up again.

_"You know, I always thought my brother was an idiot."_

_"What?"_

_"Ari. He had everything with you and Adam. He shouldn't have left after Adam's death. If he'd stopped blaming himself for what happened. He couldn't have done anything. I've never seen him as happy as he was with you. If he'd just stayed."_

Ziva suddenly stood up and searched through her pockets. Her next words were in English again.

"I'm going to find out what my dear brother is up to. You'll be the first to know. But you have to promise to keep quiet about this. Not a word. Not even to Gibbs, yes?"

Kate nodded, knowing she needed to keep this to herself. Despite everything Ari was still on their side, risking his life to work undercover. She couldn't let her resentment against him interfere with her duty as a federal agent. Ziva threw a few dollar notes on the table and turned to leave.

"Your wine is on me. I'll contact you soon. Take care."

And with that she made her way to the exit, determined as always, leaving Kate at the table. She sighed. Home was it. Maybe tomorrow things would look better.

They didn't.

It was only nine thirty and Tony was already getting on her nerves. Kate had been more than surprised when he'd actually shown up at eight o'clock. Since they didn't have any cases yet her colleague spent his time playing at his computer instead of doing paperwork. Gibbs was currently in a conference with the director and the rather loud noises from Tony's desk disturbed her concentration. Add to that the fact that she hadn't had much sleep last night made for one rather unhappy Special Agent Caitlin Todd this morning. She tried to concentrate on the text before her but her eyes always threatened to close and Kate did not want to get caught sleeping on the job. She sighed and got up. Maybe a visit to Abby would lighten her mood. The young Goth had been deeply disturbed by the events that had taken place in the morgue a week earlier and since then the two women had become closer.

The lab was unusually quiet today and Abby was nowhere to be seen.

"Abby?"

Nothing. Only silence answered her. Just when she wanted to turn around a noise let her stop. Was that crying?

"Abby?" she tried again.

"I'm here. In the back." The young forensics' voice sounded weak.

Kate stepped around the corner where she found her friend slumped against a wall, her head on her knees and her shoulders shaking slightly. Abby raised her head, and stared at Kate through red, tear stained eyes.

"Look at me Kate. I'm being pathetic, my make up is a mess and Gibbs wasn't here to bring me my Caff Pow and I have no idea why I'm behaving like this. I mean I wasn't even there when it happened but every time I want to go down I'm afraid that, I mean…" She trailed off and started sobbing again.

Kate carefully let herself down next to her and wordlessly hugged her tightly.

"I know, Abbs. We all feel the same. I think even Ducky is a bit apprehensive every time he gets down there. It's going to take a while until we can enter the morgue without thinking about it again."

Silently she cursed Ari for putting her friends through this. It wasn't fair. Abby was a damn forensic. She shouldn't be confronted with these dangers directly.

Abby hiccupped and leaned back against the wall.

"Do you think he'll come back? He isn't dead and maybe, maybe he wants revenge or something like that."

Kate turned to her.

"No, Abby. I don't think he will. It would be the worst thing he could do. His face is all over the agency and he's one of our most wanted now. And do you really think he would risk running into Gibbs again?"

The black haired Goth grinned. The thought of Ari facing Gibbs obviously amused her.

"Yeah, he would have to be really stupid to do that, right? And he certainly proved that he isn't, stupid I mean."

"No he isn't. Come on." Kate stood up and helped Abby to her feet. "We're going to fix your make up, and since we don't have a case we're going on a coffee run. We can even get Gibbs his caffeine fix. Maybe he won't be so grumpy then after spending over an hour in a conference with the director and the SecNav."

Abby giggled.

"Sounds good. I promise I try not to burst into tears anymore, ok?"

Kate nodded and together the two women left the lab.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone

First of all a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. I'm back in my chef's good graces so I could finish this. It's mainly a little backround set in the past. The next chapter is already half written and it's going to be similar but from Kate's POV. Hope you like.

Disclaimer: still not mine

Now enjoy!

* * *

A little cafe in London. A young, brown haired woman sat at a table waiting for her coffee. As always with low fat milk and sweetener. She instantly caught his eye. The expression on her face, the graceful line of her neck, the little pout on her full lips while drawing something in a sketchbook that lay open before her. He wouldn't have called it love at first sight, but it was definitely lust at first sight. He watched as delicately manicured fingers brought a cup to her lips, inhaling deeply and carefully taking a sip of coffee. He imagined the full, rich taste of one of the best brews you could get in the city. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. This woman knew how to enjoy life. 

Unfortunately this was the exact moment the bus he was currently sitting in, started to move again.

He saw her again. He had just left a rather boring lecture about a very over-debated topic when he spotted her standing on the other side of the street. Her hair fell in soft waves down her shoulders, she was wearing a dark red summer dress and carried some books. She looked up and their eyes met. For a moment his world seemed to stop. Her eyes widened and he caught a hopeful expression on her face while she raised her hand and waved shyly. Then suddenly a very expensive car stopped in front of her and she got in.

Their third meeting, which really was their first real one, took place in one of London's countless art galleries. He had been dragged there by one of his fellow students and certainly wasn't enjoying himself when he spotted a portrait, hanging in a secluded, not very good illuminated corner. There she was, his strange beauty. The woman he had admired twice before but never met face to face. He stepped closer, trying to read the artist's name when an amused sounding voice let him stop.

"Are you stalking me, Mister?"

Slowly he turned around. For the first time he was able to look at her close and noticed that she was even more beautiful this way.

"Now what gave you this idea?" he said, a smirk appearing on his handsome features," Do I look like I would need to stalk beautiful women to you?"

She smiled and blushed.

'Very cute' he thought.

"Well, since I've never met anybody who has made it his profession to follow beautiful women around, as you stated so nicely, I wouldn't be able to say."

The smile had never left her face but now a certain determination was visible. She straightened and took a few steps towards him then extended her hand.

"Caitlin Todd. Very nice to meet you."

He took her hand and answered with a smile of his own.

"Ari Haswari and the pleasure is certainly mine.

The fourth meeting was their first date. He nervously paced in front of the theatre were a version of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was played that night. He had debated with himself whether to invite her to this or not. Was it too cliché for a first date? Did she like theatre? The last time he had felt this nervous had been after his acceptation to Oxford University. He wasn't used to feeling like this. His training and his nature in general normally made him a very calm and calculating young man. Now he was just a nervous mess.

Mentally he recalled what his date had told him about herself after their encounter at the art exhibition. Her name was Caitlin Todd. She was a college graduate from the states. Her father, Charles Todd was a diplomat at the American Embassy in London and Caitlin was currently travelling Europe trying to decide what to do with her future. She had a talent for languages and thought about becoming an attorney, specializing in international law.

A car drove up to the building. He recognized it from the day it had picked her up. The door opened and a vision in red emerged, leaving him speechless. She wore a long, red evening gown, the colour being her favourite that seemed to make her glow from the inside. Her hair was pulled up, a few strands of dark, curly hair framing her face. She smiled shyly and in his haste to get to her, he almost tripped and fell down the stairs. He decided then that he really liked her in red.

Their first kiss took place in the rain next to the River Thames.

It wasn't anything mushy or overly romantic like so many Hollywood films tried to make you believe. They had been out for the third time. A quiet and romantic little restaurant near the Tower and it had been great. He told her about his family, leaving out the part where his father could be a ruthless bastard and his sister was a trained assassin. He told her about the little things. The days his sister made surprise visits and took him on extended nightlife tours through London, her phone calls to make sure he ate and slept properly and didn't overdo it with his studies. He told her how proud his father had been when he got accepted at Oxford, how he had decorated the house in Jerusalem in British colours at the date of his departure to London.

She told him about her father. A former Marine, now diplomat at the American embassy, who loved his daughter more than anything. Since her mother's death he and her two older brothers, he gulped at the thought, had been overly protective of her. But they made her feel safe and loved and she was thankful for that.

After he'd paid they hurried to get to the car, trying to avoid the nearing storm. Unfortunately they weren't able to find his vehicle, later it became clear it had been stolen, which left them a bit helpless standing in the middle of the night in London. Since neither of them had any coins for a telephone, so calling a taxi wasn't an option, they settled for walking and maybe catching a cab on the way. It started to rain somewhere during their walk and he wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm. And then, he would have difficulties later to say how exactly it had happened, they were kissing. And it was good. So very thoroughly, extraordinary good. She sighed, relaxed in his arms, her mouth eagerly responding to his. Sadly the rain was still pouring down, they were completely drenched by now, which forced them to cut their make out session rather short.

He spend the next week in bed, nursing a cold, it seemed she was better adjusted to the London weather than he was, but he didn't really mind. It meant after all he got the pleasure of her company everyday. She spent her days at his', nursing him with herbal tea and self-made chicken soup.

The first time he met her father was rather unexpected. He was assigned to work with some American government officials to catch a certain dangerous terrorist, both countries had been chasing for some time then. He had just entered the office of the American ambassador when greeted by a deep and bellowing voice.

"So, you are the lucky guy my daughter keeps wanting me to meet, hm?"

He'd nearly tripped then and fell over, which would have been an embarrassing first meeting. Luckily he caught himself in time and answered with his usual confidence.

"I certainly am lucky to have her in my life, Sir."

He should have known that a man like Charles Todd always kept track of the men in his daughter's life, probably had his whole life story memorized by now. They got along well enough. From their first meeting on there seemed to be a mutual understanding between the two. The first and foremost interest was Caitlin's well-being and neither of them had any problems with that.

The first time his girlfriend met his little sister he was a nervous wreck yet again. He knew Ziva and her habit not to beat around the bush. He needn't have worried. The two matched like long lost sisters. He had started to teach Caitlin Hebrew sometime ago, languages really did come easily to her, and in Ziva she found somebody willing to help her practice the more coarse aspects of his native tongue. They spend hours with silly drinking games where his sister taught his girlfriend every bad word she could think of. When they started exchanging stories about him he decided it would probably have been better if they hadn't gotten along quite so well.

The day he decided to propose. He would have never thought to get to this point this early in his life. If he was honest, he hadn't thought about ever getting there. Find a woman he loved enough to marry, maybe even starting a family. It was, in a way, a turning point for him. He exchanged a dangerous future as a field agent for official work, he even thought of sorely concentrating on medicine. To say his father hadn't been thrilled at his decision would have been an understatement. He was furious. It took a threat from his sister to sever every tie with her father and dinner at a rather expensive restaurant with him and Caitlin, that woman could anybody charm into anything, to calm him down again. The fact that they had decided to start a family after they would both finish their respective educations might have had something to do with that. Ziva didn't seem like the type to settle down and the prospect of having grandchildren even turned one hard-assed Mossad Director to mush.

Their wedding. Both fathers had wanted to organize something huge but their children settled for something simple. A quiet, non-religious ceremony with family and a few selected friends. At first they had wanted a wedding in favour of both their religions but it turned out the chosen officials couldn't stand each other. Something about a cricket match twenty years earlier, and after much bickering they let it be.

The day was exactly what they had imagined. The future father in laws got drunk together. Caitlin suspected her father to be the initiator since she couldn't imagine the collected Director David in this role. Ziva scared her future brothers in law into silence after they had made some comments about her height and Mossad hiring fairies now, her dress did look like straight from a fairy tale. Apart from that everybody seemed to enjoy him – or herself and even the normally very rainy season, in Britain every season was a rainy one, made an exception that day.

The day Caitlin told him she was pregnant. It was more than a little unexpected. They had both returned to the States. She started law school but quickly decided it wasn't what she wanted. The Secret Service was more appealing to her and it turned out she had talent for the job. He on the contrary still worked for his government and as a doctor for government employees. Ziva occasionally visited between missions and they spend weekends in London and Jerusalem, visiting their fathers. The pregnancy came unexpected. Caitlin had to cut back on her work in the New York Secret Service Division and he started to spend more hours at home, reading every book and medicine article he could find on the subject. It seemed being a doctor yourself didn't make you less nervous as expectant father. His behaviour drove his wife crazy.

The first time he held his son. It had been a very exhausting fifteen hours. At the end Caitlin had threatened him with serious bodily harm should he make one more comment about it being over soon. But it had been worth it. Their son was a perfect little boy with ten fingers and ten toes and life couldn't get any better.

It got worse.

A two-year-old Adam playing with his father in the sun. Caitlin sat on a park bench, smiling at her boys' antics. They didn't see it coming. All it took was one vengeful weapons dealer, Ari and his team had busted a month earlier. It took a call to an assassin living in Amsterdam. A plane ticket to New York. A quiet family afternoon at the Central Park. A single bullet from a sniper rifle aimed at the father but fast enough to hit the boy, too. A scream from Caitlin and a call to 911.

The father lived, barely but he survived, the bullet having punctured his lung he spent a week in a coma. When he awoke nothing was as it had been. His wife sat at his bed, her eyes red from crying. His sister stood in one corner of the room, not saying anything. It took one look to Caitlin for him to know what happened.

He had killed his son.

Sure, he hadn't pulled the trigger but it might as well have been him. His work, the devotion to his country had caused Adam's death. Closing his eyes he made a decision. The assassin would have probably been taken out by now. That was the way his father worked but there were others. He wouldn't let Caitlin suffer the same fate their son had. He had to leave. Even if it broke his heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi

Again a huge thanks to all reviewers. You're the best. Here's a new chapter for all of you. It's from Kate's POV. I felt she deserved it. The next chapter probably won't be up before the weekend. My Internet connection crashed and I have to reboot my PC. Thanks to my friend who lets me borrow his one right now you get this chapter sooner.

Disclaimer: still not enough money to buy them, damn

Now enjoy!

* * *

The clock ticked mercilessly in the background. 

She remembered him, saying her name at their first date.

"_Caitlin."_

It rolled down his tongue like smooth whisky, his barely audible accent making it sound like a caress.

A single tear made its way down her face. She didn't brush it away. The door opened silently, she remembered him fixing the hinge last month, laughing wholeheartedly when Adam tried to steal the tools from his belt.

"Caitlin?" she cringed at the sound of her name now.

'Ziva', she thought, 'sweet, tough Ziva.' Caitlin sat up on the bed and stared at the clock, needing to focus on something to not lose her mind.

The brunette slowly made her way to the bed and sat down.

"Hey", she smiled weakly, "how are you holding up?"

Absently bringing a hand to her face she stared in wonder at the wetness that covered her fingers.

"I, I didn't think there were any left, that I still had tears." She turned to Ziva, a pleading expression in her eyes. "He didn't come, did he? God, where is he?"

The other woman looked at her, eyes bright from withheld tears. Wordlessly she put her arms around Caitlin and pulled her into a tight hug. This simple and yet so caring gesture was her undoing and she let the tears fall freely down her face. For a few minutes only her deep, heart-wrenching sobs filled the room that had once belonged to her and her husband.

She knew something was wrong from the moment he'd woken up in the hospital bed. Ari had always been able to read her. Maybe it was his training, a natural talent or maybe she just was that easy to read. All he needed was to look in her eyes to know what happened. In that moment she saw something break. An innocence, a certain belief that the world did allow you to be happy. Something broke and she was pretty sure it couldn't be repaired ever again.

She pulled away from Ziva, and stood up. Her eyes fell on the framed photos sitting on a desk. Various snapshots from a happier life. A life that had been destroyed three weeks ago. Two weeks ago she had thought that she hadn't lost her husband as well. One week ago she had realized that he might as well have died that day. Today was her son's funeral and he wasn't there.

"Caitlin? They're waiting. We should go now", Ziva stood up and brought a hand to her arm, as if afraid she would break any moment, "come on."

Caitlin nodded and followed the other woman outside. It was time.

The weeks after the funeral passed in a haze. Caitlin stood in her kitchen, waiting for the coffee to be finished when she heard a key being turned in the lock at the front door. For a moment she allowed herself to hope. Maybe it was him, maybe he had decided to come back to her.

"Caitlin?" no such luck. It was her father's voice that greeted her. Calmly she took a mug from the cupboard and filled it with the dark, hot brew. Her father entered the kitchen, his determined steps stopping next to her. Without looking up she handed him the coffee, black and strong just as he liked it.

"Have you heard from him?" she could almost feel him tense next to her and he chose his next words carefully.

"Not since the day he signed himself out of the hospital, no." she sighed and suppressed a sob.

"He isn't coming back, is he?" her father didn't say anything and deep down she already knew the answer to that question. She made her way to the living room not looking up to the empty spots where once photos had adorned the wall. She couldn't stand looking at them anymore. If her father had noticed he didn't comment on it. Entering the room she went straight for the couch and plopped down. He father stopped next to the window and regarded her carefully.

"How are you holding up?"

She snorted. "Barely, and that's on the good days" she turned to look at her father, the late afternoon light making him look almost ethereal. "Dad, I know you and the Director are in on the investigation. I need to know what you found out, please?" he attempted to speak but she interrupted him, "I know what you're going to say now but I don't want to hear it. All I want is something. I need to know if the bastard who's responsible will pay for it, please Dad."

Suddenly her father looked weary, the weight of the past few weeks visibly catching up with him. He turned away from the window and looked at her. "Caitlin…" he hesitated "we have caught the shooter in London several weeks ago. He, he died due to an unfortunate accident after his interrogation." He didn't need to go further. She could read the subtext. "He gave us information about a man called Andrew Caine, a billionaire and philanthropist living in Paris. We don't have much more, yet."

She closed her eyes and leaned back. Her father left his spot next to the window and approached the couch.

"Scoot over, darling, hm?" he sat down next to her, his green eyes, so unlike hers and her mothers, full of affection and love

"Look at me, Caitlin. We'll get him. Maybe not today, or in the near future, but I promise someday we'll have enough evidence to bust him." She nodded and smiled weakly, letting her head rest against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, his familiar scent slowly luring her into sleep.

'I know you will', were her last coherent thoughts before slipping into oblivion

Three months already. Caitlin nervously paced in the living room. She almost couldn't believe it. She dreaded the task she had set for herself today but it had to be done at some point. Slowly she made her way to the room, passing the hall, up the stairs and then across the carpet to the door. Adam's room.

She had only once set a foot in this room after his death. After Ari had left the hospital without telling anyone. She'd cried on the bed for hours until Ziva had come and dragged her back to the land of the living, forcing her to take a shower, eat something and then have a full night's sleep. Since then she had avoided the room. She never even looked up when she passed the door.

Slowly she pressed the handle. The door opened with an audible creak and she entered. The smell hit her like a brick wall, familiar and bittersweet. She stopped in front of the bed, Adam's Spider Man pyjamas, a gift from Ari's father, still on the bed, carelessly thrown there in their haste to get to the park that afternoon. She sat down, clutching one of her son's pillows to her, tears at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't do this, she wasn't ready. Throwing away the pillow she fled from the room.

The winter came. A white, silencing blanket covered everything, making the neighbourhood look like a view from a postcard. She ignored Thanksgiving. Buried herself in her work, volunteered to take the shifts from colleagues who had families.

Ignoring Christmas however was slightly more difficult. Singers, decorations and Christmas spirit followed her wherever she went. In the middle of December she'd had enough and after a phone call to her father she got on a flight to London. The little cottage her father owned in South Britain would be perfect to escape until after Sylvester.

"Caitlin?" she looked up, "the boss wants to talk to you". Her colleague smiled encouragingly at her. She smiled back and nodded. Gathering her papers she could think of several reasons for this requested meeting. Well, he would tell her soon enough.

"Sir? You wanted to talk to me?" her boss looked up and motioned her to sit down. "Caitlin, good to see you. I wanted to speak with you because I have an offer from D. C. Surely you remember that your results from the yearly performance test were above every scale and now we have a spot open at the presidential protection detail and well, we'd like to offer it to you."

Kate sat stunned for a few moments. This was it. The one offer every secret service secretly hoped for. She looked up. Maybe it was time to leave, leave New York, the memories and everything related to it.

"Caitlin?" Ziva stumbled into the kitchen, carrying a huge pile of books, "tell me again why I agreed helping you to pack up your house? This is ridiculous, where did you get all these books?"

She giggled and took half of the pile from the brunette stuffing them into a box standing on the floor.

"You agreed because you love me and my dear brothers are both not in the country. Suspiciously they suddenly had to leave after I told them I would move to D. C."

Ziva rolled her eyes and turned around, attempting to leave but Caitlin's voice hold her back.

"Ziva? Before I forget, I decided to go by Kate from now on."

The other woman smiled sadly and nodded then turned around.

"I'll be in the living room. There're still a lot of books, you know?"

'Washington is it', she thought. It was time for something new.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi

Oh looky a new chapter, yay me. This one introduces our main villain. I think every good story needs one. I hope you like him (that didn't come out right). And we'll get a little insight into the thoughts of our favourite special agents. Hope you like.

PS. Any House fans in sight? Preferably Hameron supporters? I posted a little something under House MD. You might want to check out. :-)

Disclaimer: Well, you know, ah hell, look at the first chapter. I'm tired of this.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Andrew Caine was a man of fine tastes. Born and grown up in the British working class he had learned early that life didn't give you anything. You had to take it. 

His career had been unique. In his early years in London he'd done about every job he could get. He'd worked down at the harbour, slaved away in various factories and did the occasional job for the local mob.

It was during one of these jobs that he first came in contact with the fine lifestyle the French called their own.

He had just started to beat up the owner of a restaurant within his clients' area who had declined to pay protection money, when he spotted the entrance to the restaurant's kitchen. Having never been in close contact with somebody of the upper class before he naturally was curious.

He handed his unfortunate victim over to one of his fellows and entered the room.

In this moment his life made a seemingly unimportant but for him very meaningful change.

The kitchen was filled with the leftovers from the day's work. Countless dishes, every single one a masterpiece of French cuisine waited for somebody to devour them. The smell, and later the tastes, were like nothing Andrew Caine had ever experienced before.

From this day on his single goal was to get things like these every day. He worked even harder, took more illegal jobs, saved every penny he could.

---

'Thankfully those times are over', he thought, sitting in his 5 million Euro mansion in the city of Paris, sipping a very expensive and old scotch. Gone were the times when he didn't knew whether he would still have enough to eat the next day or not. Now he was one of the most powerful men in his business, which covered about everything from drugs, over demanding protection money to prostitution.

"Mr Caine?" his assistant had come in unnoticed. He stood up and motioned her to step closer. "What is it, Dominique?"

"Mr Hastings has arrived, Sir. He's waiting outside."

He nodded. "Let him in. And cancel the rest of my appointments for today, please."

She complied obediently as always, her round hips swaying softly when she left the room. Fine tastes, indeed.

The door opened and his possible future business partner entered, accompanied by a bully whom he suspected to be the other man's bodyguard.

Michael Simon Hastings had an impressive outward appearance. A tall, muscular frame, greying hair in a rather strange cut.' Maybe former military', he mused, and piercing blue eyes.

They shook hands and he offered refreshment which Hastings politely but firmly declined. "I'd rather come to business as soon as possible, Mr Caine. I don't have much time. I have to be in Lille this evening." He nodded in agreement and took some papers from his desk. "These are the general outlines of our agreement. All I still need is your password and we can start." Hastings seemed pleased. He took an expensive biro from his pocket and began scribbling something on the front paper.

"You know Mr Caine, I never expected your work to be that good. I was definitely surprised, but it was a nice surprise." Having finished his writing, he gave the papers back to Caine and stood up.

"Like I said. It was nice to work with you. If this goes as planned, maybe we can repeat it sometimes?"

Caine smiled pleased and extended his hand. "I'd like that very much Mr Hastings, goodbye and have a nice journey to Lille.

---

Leaving the tall, expensive house, Michael Hastings ran through a visible change. Gone was the slight arrogance. His steps became more determined, less graceful. A certain image of danger appeared, a visible awareness of his surroundings.

The wealthy Irish businessman became NCIS Special Agent Jethro Gibbs.

He nodded to a dark blue Renault, parked on the other side of the street. The car started and pulled over. Having one last look at the window on the second floor, from where Andrew Caine certainly watched their departure, he and his companion got in.

" Jethro, how did it go?" the voice of Benjamin Beaupuis, a young, French technician, anxiously greeted him. "Did you get the information?" He nodded, his mind already progressing the dates.

"The transaction is this evening. A little private airport just outside the city."

---

Night had descended over France. The dark, moonless night was perfect for the heavily armed soldiers that surrounded the little airfield in the outskirts of Paris. In a black, government issued van two American Investigators, and a French DGSE agent waited for Caines' arrival.

"We do have everything we need, do we?" Gibbs resisted the urge to roll his eyes. After Jenn had requested the transfer back to the States, a fact he was still immensely grateful for, he'd been partnered with this rookie. A nice kid but truth to be told, way too inexperienced for an assignment like this. "Everything's fine, Curtis. Don't worry." He listened to the micro again when a limousine drove up to the gate.

"Ok, people. This is it. Wait until they're in the hangar." The car stopped inside the area and their target got out. With an entourage of five he made his way into the single building next to the airfield. Gibbs gave the awaited sign and the team was set into motion.

It should have been over soon. The three teams of a French SWAT unit and the team of Marines silently got forward.

The agents in the van anxiously waited for a sign that they could step into action but nothing came.

Instead a huge explosion shook the surroundings only leaving ashes and debris in its wake.

---

In a small private jet over the Channel, Andrew Caine was once again sipping an expensive scotch. Thanks to his informant he had placed in the agency, he'd been able to escape the attempted arrest.

But not without leaving a little gift for Mister Hastings or whatever his name might have been. Grinning he leaned back in his very comfortable seat. Soon they would arrive in London where he could start to make plans for the future.

---

Kate stood apprehensively in front of the door. 'To go or not to go' she thought. She'd debated with herself before this visit, not wanting to give herself away and she wasn't sure she could keep quiet. The tension in the team was still obvious even to an outsider. Gibbs kept running Ari's photo through every database known to the agency. She could have easily told him that he wouldn't find anything, but…

Slowly she turned the knob and entered the room.

"Gerald?"

The young man sat on a chair; his shoulder covered in bandages and watched TV. Upon seeing her he turned it off and greeted her with a smile.

"Agent Todd? That's a surprise. I didn't really expect you to come by. How are you?"

Kate nervously fingered with the buttons on her coat.

"I'm fine, but shouldn't I be the one asking that?"

She took the gift she had purchased earlier and handed it to him.

"I hope you like chocolate. These are very good. I thought maybe you would prefer them to flowers from the gift shop down at the hospital."

He grinned and motioned to an assembling of various bouquets on the only table in the room. "Yeah, I already got enough of those."

She took a chair next to the bed and sat down. A somewhat awkward silence descended upon them until Gerald cleared his throat.

"So, how's the rest of your team? I get visits from Abby but she mostly tries to cheer me up. And Dr Mallard always assures me that you'll get the terrorist soon. Nobody really seems to know how the rest of you are doing."

Kate smiled, Gerald always thought of others first, a quality she hadn't really acknowledged before but now that he was the one injured, he asked for their well-being.

"We're coping. Well, not really. It's going to take some time, that's for sure."

'Appearances are deceptive', she thought. Gibbs was right about that. They still solved their cases. They still worked like a well-oiled machine but the balance had been disturbed. Gibbs was driven with catching Ari and he didn't even know that he would probably never get the chance for revenge. Tony tried to maintain the spirit, to lighten their moods and sometimes, she had to give him that, it worked. Abby was still frightened. She hated being in the morgue now, every time she had to get down, she almost started visibly shaking. Ducky, she'd never seen the normally mild mannered pathologist as angry as he was every time Ari was mentioned.

As for herself…

One of Gibbs first and foremost rules was never lie to your partner. By not telling the team about her past relationship with Ari she broke that rule several times. She had absolutely no idea how to get out of this mess again.

"Agent Todd, Kate?"

Startled she looked up. She'd almost forgotten why she was here. With a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, she continued to tell Gerald about the last weeks at NCIS Headquarters.

---

Anthony Dinozzo was by no means stupid. He might have pretended to be on several occasions, growing up in a family that took appearances over truths tended to have this effect, but when the situation, or Gibbs demanded, he was every ounce the brilliant investigator he could be. And right at this moment he knew something was up with his partner. It had started after the incident down at the morgue. At first it was expected. Kate took only two days off, the female agent sometimes indulged herself in her work with the same driven determination their boss did.

But lately her behaviour had changed.

After that day he'd made a half attempted joke about Stockholm Syndrome, but Kate's comment afterwards had gotten him thinking. It took longer to fall in love with your captor.

The elevator doors opened and Gibbs emerged, determined he strode to his desk.

"Dinozzo, Kate, Paperwork finished yet?"

His two agents looked up with a start, Kate obviously tired and Tony, he had that look on his face that indicated he was close to figuring something out. Whether it was some breakthrough in a case or how to ask the new secretary for a date, he couldn't tell and he was pretty sure he didn't really want to.

His earlier conversation with the Director had left him tired, frustrated and in dire need of coffee. The hunt for their intruder had become even more of a mystery. The search, he repeated every evening since that fated day, had alerted several agencies spread all over the world, every one of them clearly interested in their unknown terrorist but none of them willing to share any of their own information.

He hated it. There was one thing Gibbs wasn't used to, one thing he had no control over. Losing. It wasn't an option in his books.

The annoying sound of his telephone ringing startled him from his dark thoughts.

"Gibbs. Yes? Where?" He motioned Kate to hand him a pen. "We'll be there." He put down the receiver, as always without saying goodbye. "Dinozzo, Kate, grab your gear, we have a case."


	5. Chapter 5

Hi

Again a huge thanks to all reviewers and especially to those who pointed out my mistakes. You've been a great help. This is the next one. Somebody wanted to see team interaction and their thoughts on everything which gave me the idea for an additional chapter, well, this one. I hope you like it.

PS. School started again and now I have to delegate between work, homework and writing but I hope to get at least two chapters a week done, so stay with me.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Abby restlessly tossed in her bed, now almost completely tangled in the sheets. Contrary to popular beliefs, she didn't sleep in a coffin. She had once tried it at a friend's place but that plan had been proven to be highly impractical. 

Currently she didn't even sleep at all.

She turned around and glared at her alarm clock.

There were roughly four hours left until the normally annoying sound would save her from this torture.

Since the unknown terrorist had taken Ducky, Gerald and Kate hostage down in the morgue it was over with sleeping peacefully for the young forensic. Nightmares woke her up every night and having a full night's sleep had become a luxury. She turned back to her other side and angrily boxed in her pillow.

Didn't help.

This wouldn't do it.

Tiredly she sat up and reached for the lamp next to the bed. Where the hell was the switch?

'Ah, there, ouch!' she blinked, the light much too bright for her eyes, still adjusted to the dark. Awkwardly she freed herself from her blanket and stumbled out of the bed. With half lidded eyes she made her way in the general direction where she hoped to find the telephone.

There it was. She took the receiver and started to dial but then hesitated. Kate probably wouldn't be the right person to talk to. The brunette had enough problems of her own right now and she didn't need hers as well.

Mentally she went through her imaginary phone book and chose another number instead.

A ring, another, and a third one.

She'd almost put down the receiver again when a very tired sounding voice answered.

"Dinozzo, and this is better good."

---

Anthony Dinozzo was having a good dream. The new blonde secretary had finally agreed to go on a date with him. He had pulled every trick he knew. Showed up with a bouquet of red roses, put on the famous Dinozzo charm. After a dinner at the fine, Italian restaurant he knew the owner of, they were now strolling next to a romantic little river.

He'd just wanted to say something when the annoying sound of his cell ringing interrupted him. His cell? He was pretty sure that every kind of disturbance had been strictly banned from this evening.

In his flat, Anthony Dinozzo woke up with a start and in his haste to find his cell he knocked down the glass on the nightstand and cursed expressively.

He bent down to the ground and searched the pockets of his jeans. Finally finding the wildly ringing cell he pressed it against his ear without looking at the ID first.

"Dinozzo, and this is better good."

Silence answered him.

"Tony?"

"Abby, is that you? At, wait, almost four o'clock in the morning? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Well, I couldn't, sleep I mean. I wanted to call Kate but then after everything that's happened, she needs her sleep, doesn't she?"

'And I don't?' he thought, tiredly rubbing his face and running a hand through his hair. He was way too tired to deal with this now but Abby sounded so forlorn, he just couldn't stand it.

"Tell you what, Abbs. Why don't you meet me at the 24 hour diner that's next to your apartment house and we'll talk?"

"Really? You would do that? Oh, you're the best, Tony, thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Sure thing, Abbs. I'm awake now and I probably won't be able to sleep again anyway. Meet you there in half an hour."

An enthusiastic goodbye and she had hung up again. He yawned. It would be a long day.

---

The little 24 hours diner was almost completely empty at four o'clock in the morning, leaving only two waitresses sitting at one of the rather ugly plastic tables.

Dim light from the street vividly contrasted with the harsh fluorescent lighting that illuminated the café.

In a secluded corner a single guest tiredly sipped a huge cup of coffee, black hair hanging straight down, huge bags under her eyes.

This was the state Tony found the young Goth in when he arrived.

"Abby?"

She looked up, startled, her eyes lit up upon seeing him.

"Tony." She smiled warmly and he sat down, facing her.

"So Abbs, what's up, hm?"

She gripped the cup in front of her, tightly, and started to speak in a low voice, almost a whisper.

"I, I haven't been sleeping well, lately. Ever since that day. I know I probably sound weak, but I just can't think clearly. Every time I have to go down there, I…

Tony sighed. He had known that something was wrong with her. Hell, something was wrong with every single one of them. He had berated himself after the incident. If he had just looked a little closer, paid a little more attention, gone instead of Kate. But would things have been different? He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the terrorist had been able to break in so easily.

Sure, Gibbs said they weren't safe anywhere, never let down your guard. But somehow he'd always felt safe in the bullpen, Abby's lab or even the morgue, but now…

Things had changed, they had changed. It was difficult for him and he was used to the constant danger, it had to be much worse for the young Goth.

"Abby… you know whenever you need to talk, we're here. It will take some time, until this is over. We have to stick together now. You know what? The next time you're too afraid to go down, call us. Kate and I will make sure you won't have to do it alone. And you can always call if you're not able to sleep, okay?"

She smiled hesitantly.

"Thanks, Tony. Do you think things will ever go back to the way they were?"

He looked outside, the sun slowly rising.

"No idea, Abbs."

But deep down he already knew the answer.

They wouldn't.

---

The bullpen was completely dark. Only the moon still sent his pale light, weaving strange patterns over the room, comforting the lonely soul still sitting at his desk.

Gibbs hadn't intended to be here at four o'clock in the morning. He hadn't intended to sit at his desk, brooding and cursing the day he had let an unknown stranger break into their most guarded sanctuary.

He had started his evening at home, working on his boat, drinking bourbon and chasing away his ghosts.

It hadn't worked.

He'd ended up at his other home, work, the place where he spent half his time already, so why not the rest as well?

Part of him wanted to find the bastard and put a bullet in his head, no scratch that, every part of him demanded it.

Revenge 

His team had walked on eggshells around him for days now, sensing his mood that was definitely darker than it had been in a long time.

The part of him that had once been the sniper, the silent, deadly assassin, craved blood.

He closed his eyes, forcing that part back into his mind where it faded, always lingering just without reach, waiting for the day when he would need it.

His mind drifted to the newest addition to the team, Kate, the one he had hired several months earlier. There was something she hadn't told him about the day, she seemed to be absent lately, her mind being everywhere but at work..

Something about her always seemed to be out of his reach, something he couldn't quite grasp. He'd thought he'd figured her out so many times but every time he got a new piece of the puzzle that was Caitlin Todd. She was slowly becoming an obsession, but he wasn't ready to admit to that yet, because obsession too easily turned into something more and that something more was a weakness he hadn't allowed himself in a very long time. Not since his first marriage and he wasn't quite ready to admit to that, too.

Time would tell her secrets, he was sure. Time would probably tell his secrets as well but he would deal with that when the time arrived, for now he had a bastard to catch.

And catch him he would.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi

I'm back with a new chapter. Had an awfully busy week. This one is the first with some Tiva in it and it's hopefully a bit lighter than the previous. I hope to get the next chapter up at wednesday or thursday. There are two tests coming my way next week and I do have to prepare for them. Add to that the cold I got from my best friend and I'll be lucky to get anything done. Hope you like this and I promise there'll be more Kibbs soon.

PS Thanks for the reviews. It's an incredibly good feeling to find that many in my Inbox after a day filled with school and work.

Disclaimer: You think they're mine? Hell, you're more delusional than I thought.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Carefully Ziva manoeuvred the cart through the small corridor, avoided a crash with a stack of toilet paper and finally spotted her goal.

Cleanser.

Why was she here again?

Right, Kate.

Her friend was still at work and she had decided a surprise visit was in order.

After a horrendous commercial flight, she preferred the nice, comfortable jets her employer occasionally provided, she'd arrived in DC where the weather had obviously decided to start a second Great Flood.

Catching a cab was practically impossible during rush our, so she had walked half an hour in the pouring rain before finally getting one, just to discover that she'd forgotten to get the right currency.

The cab driver hadn't been too thrilled.

How did she end up at Mossad again?

But working for one of the most efficient agencies that currently existed, did have its advantages. She had only needed a few moments of friendly persuasion and he'd given in and accepted British pounds instead of dollars.

The lock on the apartment door hadn't been a problem at all. She would have been a bad spy, if she didn't even get that open without a key.

But needless to say this really wasn't her day. After inspecting Kate's fridge and the rest of her flat she'd decided she would start with buying some groceries and refill her friend's stash of cleansing products. Or rather buying something to disinfect her fridge and then refill it.

So she'd ended up at the nearest supermarket, something she hated with deepest disgust. The lighting was too bright, most shelves were too high and regardless which country you were in, the employees always seemed deeply unenthusiastic. But she suspected she would probably be the same if she had to work here day by day.

Now she had a cart that was stuffed with everything Kate probably didn't really need and only one item to get.

Ziva David, one point. Clutches of hell, also known as supermarket, zero. She grinned. This had been way easier than she'd originally thought.

Already sure of her victory she grasped the last bottle of cleanser when a voice rudely interrupted her.

"I think that's mine."

She turned around and looked into the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. The rest of him wasn't that ugly either. Tall, slim but muscular and brown hair that framed a very attractive face. For some reason he seemed awfully familiar.

She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"And why would that be? I didn't see a name on it."

Her opponent lazily leaned on his own cart, filled with variations of microwave dishes.

Definitely single.

"Well, you see. I really need it. I have this very hot blonde date today and need to clean up before letting her into my apartment…" he trailed off, obviously just realising that he'd given away a few intimate details she really didn't want to hear.

Great, a playboy. Or was it gigolo? Or maybe a playboy gigolo? Did that even exist?

And that was the exact moment when it clicked.

Anthony Dinozzo.

Kate's partner. The one who was after everything with a skirt that didn't get away fast enough.

Suddenly annoyed with him, she narrowed her eyes.

How dare he to challenge her right to buy the last bottle of cleanser with this poor excuse of his. He probably never cleaned his apartment and had only yet realised that maybe having a romantic dinner in a mess like that, wasn't one of the best ideas.

Yes, she tended to be unreasonable sometimes but there were just some people that made her climb the walls or whatever, some people that made her lose her usual cool

She forcefully grabbed the bottle, threw it into her cart and marched past the astonished looking man towards the exit.

Nobody messed with her without regretting it later.

---

Tony was hooked, seriously and absolutely stunned by the brunette that had just left him standing open mouthed in front of the various bottles of cleanser.

Slowly a leering grin spread over his face, forgotten was the date and the blonde, he had to know who this woman was. She had annoyed him, snatched something he'd wanted to buy and the expression in her eyes had screamed murder at the end of their little encounter.

He was hooked.

Then he noticed her absence, damn where the hell had she gone. He hurried after her, nearly knocking over an elderly woman who angrily shouted something entirely insulting after him but he didn't care. Somehow he had the distinct feeling that he had to find her again, it was a gut thing and working for Gibbs he had long since learned that you should always trust your gut.

She was fast, surprisingly fast, he caught a flash of brunette curls leaving the building and struggled to get past the other customers.

Finally emerging from the cramped entry he spotted her getting into a car and starting it. The small Volvo pulled out of the parking space and with surprising speed it left the area before he could reach it.

He had lost her.

---

Shifting the bag filled with groceries to her left arm, Ziva turned the key she'd gotten from the apartment earlier, and entered Kate's loft. One foot closing the door behind her she threw the key onto a table in the hallway and made her way to the kitchen.

She stopped when she felt the barrel of a gun being pressed against her temple.

"Ziva?"

"Hey. Would you mind pointing that the other way? It's rather impolite to greet a guest with the finger at the trigger, don't you think?"

The gun vanished.

"Maybe you shouldn't have broken into my home. Or you could have called before doing so, then you would have gotten a nicer greeting, eventually."

Kate took the groceries and carried them into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here by the way? I thought you were in Europe on an assignment?"

Following her, Ziva crouched down on one of the extremely uncomfortable chairs and tiredly put her head on the table.

She mumbled something under her breath causing Kate to raise her eyebrows.

"What was that?"

She lifted her forehead just enough to look at her friend, taking in the puzzled face and utter confusion.

"I said, I took a week's leave." she groaned and put her head down again not wanting to see the smug grin that had probably appeared in the brunette's expression.

"Well, it's about time you did. You're completely overworked and you look horrible by the way."

Ziva chuckled wryly.

"Thanks so much, I really appreciate your concern. And you shouldn't throw sticks if you live in a glasshouse "

Kate snorted and turned around.

"It's stones not sticks, Ziva. Would you like something to drink, or eat? You look famished."

She grinned and nodded.

Do you have some of that delicious chocolate tart you made during my last visit? I would kill for a slice right now."

Her friend rolled her eyes and turned back to the still open fridge.

"No need to commit homicide. You'll get one. So, what have you been up to, today?"

"Oh, I totally forgot, I met your partner at that store around the corner."

She chewed thoughtfully on her first piece of deliciously melting chocolate cake.

"He's hot, you know, but a real womanizer like you said."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"What did he do?"

"He hit on me and then told me about his latest date with some blonde bimbo. And he wanted to buy the last bottle of cleanser, but I talked him out of it."

Her friend grinned.

"Talked him out of it or threatened him until he gave it to you?"

"Yes, well… I may have glared at him, but nothing more. We were in a fairly public area after all."

They continued to eat in comfortable silence until Ziva spoke up again.

"I have news from my brother."

Kate's fork clattered on the table, the silence that followed was defeating. She abruptly stood up and nervously paced in front of Ziva.

"What did he say?"

"You know he's on an undercover assignment, to take out a terrorist cell here in your country. He didn't really say much, just asked how you were and how you ended up working for Gibbs."

Kate stopped her pacing and leaned back against the sink, a weary expression on her face. She lowered her head and started rubbing her temples. The air suddenly seemed thick with tension and Ziva resisted the urge to pull her knife and throw it at the coffee maker just to relieve some of the pressure that weighed heavily on both of their minds.

"Did you tell him that you know me?"

"What?"

"Tony, did you tell him that you know me?"

Ah, avoiding the topic, she could do that.

"Nope. I was to busy being angry with him. How do you stand this behaviour every day? Don't you just sometimes get the urge to pull your gun and shoot him?"

Kate giggled.

"Sometimes? Are you kidding? I live with it every minute I'm at work. Did he follow you?"

"Nope. I think he was too busy staring at my ass. That guy's got serious issues with women."

"Tell me about it. So, what to you want to do the next week?"

A devilish smirk appeared on her face.

"Girls gotta have a little fun."


	7. Chapter 7

Hi

Thanks for the reviews, you're great. This is set after Ari made his second appearance. I changed a few things which is obvious and I will be changing a lot in later chapters, it's an AU and the author gets to say, what happens :-) I had a few problems writing this one, my Kate muse refused to play along and I had to set a trap but she's back now. Hope you like.

Disclaimer: They're mine but I'm delusional and therefore not to be taken seriously.

Now enjoy!

* * *

"I never wanted to hurt you, Caitlin, you have to understand that." 

Slowly he took a sip from his glass, savouring the taste of the expensive white wine. She resisted the urge to take her own glass and pour its contents over his head.

"Then why am I here? Why this childish hide and seek?"

He smirked.

"You're here, because I wanted to talk to you. Unfortunately, we didn't have the opportunity the last time we met."

"You want to talk? After all these years? And you just expect me to give in, or what? You had plenty of opportunities to talk to me. You always knew where I was. But I had to rely on Ziva for every little bit of information. You could have been lying dead on a table in some godforsaken country and I wouldn't have known. Hell, if Gibbs had gotten to you, you would be dead by now."

She had somewhat shouted the last few words, the stress of hiding her connection to him over the last months now catching up.

He sighed and folded his hands in front of him.

He hadn't expected this to be easy.

But he had hoped she would, at least, meet him halfway, they had been married after all. And they had shared a tragedy, parents should never have to face.

But maybe that was the problem.

He had never really given her the chance to share anything, he'd wanted to protect her and in the end, he had hurt her even more.

But it was too late for regrets now. He had his mission to fulfil and Andrew Caine was still out there. Something he would change.

"I doubt your precious Gibbs can find me. You haven't told him, have you?"

A pained expression crossed her face and he knew he had hit a sore spot.

It left him feeling strangely empty, the last thing he wanted was to cause her yet more hurt but it was the only way he knew to keep her away from him, to keep her safe.

"That's none of your business. I'm not your business, anymore. Can't you just let me live my life?"

She was emotionally exhausted. Her voice was low, close to tears. She just wanted to run, get away from him.

She wanted to banish the haunting images from her mind.

She wanted to forget.

Ari's voice calling her name, Abby's pain-filled sobs in her lab, Gerald's expression after being shot, Gibbs piercing blue eyes, trying to read her, touching something deep in her soul, something she thought she had successfully buried with her son.

Longing.

The first time had been on the submarine, the sudden close proximity, the flash of desire she caught in his eyes.

She could have sworn the temperature had risen a few degrees in that moment.

Denial was the answer, she ignored it and moved on and so had he, she suspected.

Gibbs knew something was up, she was pretty sure about it, he had this unnerving ability to exactly know when somebody lied or tried to lie to him.

He drove her crazy, tested her, invaded her personal space tried to get her to admit to something, what, he probably didn't know and she felt herself nearing the breaking point.

Today just might have been the last straw.

The situation changed faster than she expected it to, a blur of red and black and then blue.

Blood on the ground, the government cars driving up to the farmhouse and Gibbs eyes locking with hers.

He didn't leave her side, stayed when the paramedic tended to her wounds, nothing really serious but he refused to leave her alone.

He took her to his car, drove her to a preliminary debriefing at Headquarters, the team avoided them for now, sensing they would get the important parts tomorrow.

Then he drove her home. His home.

She knew then, she had reached the dead line, she had to confess her sins, a concept she was well-acquainted with.

She had never felt this nervous and apprehensive before confession though.

Silently he let her into his house, his sanctuary. It was neat, clean, not really lived in. He motioned her to sit down on the couch in his living room.

"Be right back, you want something to drink?"

She declined, sure she wouldn't be able to keep anything down.

He made his way up the stairs, she could hear him rummaging through drawers in what she suspected to be his bedroom. Leaning back she decided to close her eyes, just for a moment…

"Kate?"

Startled, she opened her eyes. Gibbs stood in front of her, his expression concerned. She hadn't heard him come back down.

He sat down on the couch, looking tired and weary. She noticed a glass on the table and two aspirin lying next to it.

She took them gratefully.

He turned, facing her.

"Better?"

She nodded mutely and turned to him. He had changed, now wearing old, worn out blue jeans and a black USMC shirt.

If the situation hadn't been so tense, she might have taken the rare opportunity to appreciate the sight.

But instead she just wished for a change of clothes, too, anything to get out of the outfit she had worn all day already.

His next words didn't surprise her.

"You knew."

No question, just a statement. She could hear the tension and suppressed anger in his voice. The betrayal. Her betrayal.

She wanted to talk, she really did, but all she got out was a sob.

And once she got started she wasn't able to stop the tears anymore. She felt his arms around her, one hand in her hair, fingers gripping her tightly, he pulled her to him.

She didn't need much convincing.

His chest muffled her sobs quite effectively, she had a tight grip on his shirt. And she finally started talking.

She told him everything, the first meeting, London, her father, his father, the wedding, Adam, New York.

He held her, still, letting her cry.

Life had just gotten a lot more complicated.

---

His house was quiet, Gibbs sat on the couch, trying not to think about the woman currently sleeping in his bed, between his sheets, wearing his clothes. After her confession, he had sensed her exhaustion and ushered her upstairs, telling her she needed a decent night of sleep if she didn't want to collapse the next day.

As for him, he needed the time to think. Her words had undoubtedly shocked him. Of all the things he definitely hadn't expected this.

This was something he didn't want to deal with, it made things personal, even more than they already had been.

Over the last months he had focused every bit attention he could spare on catching Ari and now he had to face the fact that it had been wasted time.

Add to that Kate's connection to the bastard and things got really complicated. A part of him still wanted to put that bullet into his head, the problem was he didn't really know his reasons anymore. From what he'd gathered about the past, Ari had hurt her by leaving, he had left her to mourn her son alone.

What kind of bastard would do that to his wife, the woman he was supposed to love.

If he imagined, just for a moment, that Shannon had survived…

He wouldn't have been able to let her out of his sight anymore, would have kept her as close as possible.

He could understand Ari's driven determination, but the hurt he had caused Kate in the process, made him want to kill the Mossad agent. He didn't dwell on the fact that, a few months ago, he would have never allowed himself to harbour these thoughts, he'd gotten closer to Kate than ever intended.

And he didn't have the slightest clue how to deal with that.

Tiredly he rubbed his face, trying to stay awake, he made his way upstairs.

Upon entering his bedroom he stopped, taking in the picture in front of him.

Kate looked so fragile in her sleep, so young which made him feel even guiltier for thinking of her in any other way than just a colleague.

Pale skin against dark blue sheets.

Careful not to wake her, he sat down next to her on the bed and leaned against the headboard. Tonight he would keep watch. He couldn't chase her demons, but he could make sure they would never reach her.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi

Life got in the way of writing again, it has an unfortunate habit of doing that lately. Thanks for the reviews, can't believe how many still read this story. I'm still not sure wether I should make Ari a good or a bad boy. I kind of didn't like him on the show (big surprise) but the other option works for this story as well. I'll just have to go where the inspiration takes me :-)

Disclaimer: only borrowing, won't harm them, much.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Sunlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating the peaceful sleeping pair on the bed. 

Gibbs groaned as his brain made its way back to consciousness. The first thing he slowly became aware of was the excruciating pain in his back, reminding him that he wasn't twenty or even thirty anymore.

The next thing he noticed was his sleeping companion snuggled into her pillow.

He knew he should probably be getting up, start the day, brew the coffee his mind strongly demanded at the moment.

But the enjoyment he got from watching her sleep was too seductive, he couldn't pull himself away from her, she looked so innocent in her sleep, her body creating a delicate pattern beyond the sheets.

He finally got up, leaving Kate to her much needed rest and made his way to the bathroom, starting his daily morning routine.

---

Kate awoke to the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs.

Her mind needed a few moments to fully enter the realms of reality again but then it hit her.

This wasn't her bed, these definitely weren't her clothes seeing as she had never been in the USMC, and she sure as hell didn't recognize the bedroom.

Gibbs.

Upon remembering the previous day she plopped back down and covered her eyes with her arm.

Just great.

She freed herself from the sheets and got up, noticing her own clothes lying neatly folded on a chair. She took her time in the bathroom, carefully examining her face in the mirror.

Who was that woman staring back through tired eyes with huge bags underneath? Lately she didn't recognize herself anymore, gone was the strong, confident woman and she had been replaced by this week, pathetic excuse of herself. So far she had managed to keep her outward appearance, only in the privacy of her own walls she allowed herself to cry.

But then Gibbs probably had a very good idea about her state of mind after her performance the evening before.

She needed to regain her confidence, she had to, otherwise she wouldn't last another week and that wasn't acceptable.

---

Gibbs was busy laying the table for two, a strange feeling if he was honest. It had been a long time since his breakfast had contained something besides coffee and whatever DC Beans offered that day and it had been even longer since he'd actually looked forward to having breakfast with another being.

Somebody entered the kitchen and he turned around.

Kate.

She stood there, awkwardly wringing her hands and looking at him expectantly. Something in her demeanour had changed over the night, he recognized a bit from the early Kate, the one he had hired over a year ago, a certain spark that had been missing for far too long.

She came over to him and he motioned her to sit down.

"Good morning Kate, slept well?"

She blushed and took a seat at the table.

"Gibbs I…" he held a hand up, effectively silencing her.

"It's okay Kate, I understand, you don't need to explain."

She looked confused but he wasn't going to elaborate this further.

He simply put some eggs on her plate and poured her a cup of coffee, which she gratefully accepted.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Neither of them felt the need for conversation and they settled into a surprisingly comfortable silence while eating.

Gibbs sighed inwardly; he knew they would have to deal with some things sooner or later. The tension over the last months had gotten to them both.

Sure he knew now the main reason for her behaviour even if he still had a difficult time to wrap his head around the facts but the truth was there was still more.

At first he had been convinced it was a one sided thing, entirely his problem, the childish urge to have something that was forbidden, aided by the obsession to find out just what had his profiler been fascinated with regarding their terrorist though he suspected that wasn't an appropriate term to describe Ari anymore.

But his reaction to Kate being kidnapped had forced Gibbs to revaluate his feelings for his only female subordinate.

What he had found scared him.

The uneasy feeling in his stomach, the need to protect her, to keep her from harm.

An attachment this strong was dangerous in their line of work, especially if one of the involved persons was the superior. It lead to a loss of focus, to distraction and that could mean the difference between life and death.

They had ended their meal and the tension had returned. Kate just wanted to get up and leave when he made a somewhat spontaneous decision, out of the blue.

She was in the process of getting her jacket when his hand on her arm stopped her from putting it on.

The look in his eyes startled her, intense, the blue seeming so much darker than normally.

He redirected her to the living room, his voice gruff and unusually unsure.

"Come on Kate, I need to show you something."

He stopped before a shelf and looked for a specific book, silently murmuring to himself.

"Where did I put it?"

He pulled a book out, a photo album she noticed and motioned her to sit down on the couch.

"Remember, I told you I was married three times?" she nodded "Well, It was actually four times."

He opened the book and she looked at the first picture.

A woman with red hair, smiling and holding a girl around the age of six or seven maybe.

"My first wife, Shannon, and our daughter, Kelly. They, they died. It's been a long time since then and nobody, not even Ducky knows about it."

Kate looked up, her eyes wide with surprise. Whatever she had expected, it hadn't been this. Gibbs took the book from her and covered her hand with his, squeezing it gently.

"What I said earlier, I do understand, Kate. I can't say I'm thrilled with the developments regarding Ari, but I understand the need to break down every once in a while."

Touched by his willingness to share this with her and still surprised at his rather unusual behaviour this morning she said the only thing her mind could come up with.

"Thanks, Gibbs."

She smiled at him, her voice hoarse from all the crying she had done lately and a silent promise in her eyes to guard his secret as well as he would guard hers.

The moment passed and reality came back, reminding them that they were expected at work in less than an hour.

After finishing the dishes they left the house and went to his car, hers still standing in the garage at headquarters.

In the car he noticed that their normal work atmosphere had returned, the relaxed, comfortable nearness to each other and a barely noticeable tension lying underneath, this lingering promise for something more.

He looked at her and she responded with understanding.

This was neither the time nor the place. They had too many obstacles right know, too many issues to deal with. But the opportunity was there and they would hold out for the day they could finally bring it into reality.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** So sorry for the delay. Now sitting at home while being sick so I have the time to wright. Hope you like. Somebody caught a rather embarassing mistake I made in the last chapter. To clarify, teller actually does mean plate but it's written Teller with a capital T. Normally I catch every German word I accidentally use but this one I missed. :-)

Disclaimer: Fed up with writing this so I put one in my profile.

Now enjoy!

* * *

Determined but carefully Ziva entered the small and dilapidated house, the floorboards beyond her feet creaking at her every move. 

She had her hand at her gun, ready to pull it at the first hostile intruder greeting her.

Slowly she made her way through the small cramped hallway that lead into the rest of the building, every sense on alert, not wanting to be caught by surprise.

A barely noticeable sound stopped her, something akin to crawling.

She freed her gun from its holster, put it in position and hesitantly stepped forward to the area where the noise seemed to be emerging from.

A last reassuring breath and she swirled around the corner, gun ready.

She blinked.

And looked again.

Letting out a small chuckle at her own stupidity she returned her gun to its place at her hip and turned around, leaving the quivering rat to her business.

A fist coming towards her face was the last thing she saw before oblivion claimed her.

---

Upon awakening Ziva groaned and cradled her head between her palms, trying to ease the pounding headache that had somehow formed over the last few hours.

Mentally she cursed herself, never let down your guard, it could mean the difference between life and dead, she'd broken the most important rule in her business.

Stupid.

She checked herself for weapons but of course they had all been removed, even the small knife she usually hid in her bra.

She shuddered with disgust at the though of the surely thoroughly search, glad that she had been unconscious at that time.

Ziva took a look at her surroundings, an almost completely dark room, faint light from beneath the wooden door barely illuminated several boxes and old furniture scattered over the room.

A chair next to the door, an old couch and a battered looking easy chair surrounding a low table in the back.

On her right she noticed what seemed to be a window nailed shut with several planks.

Still groggy she lifted herself from the ground taking in the muddy state of her clothes with disgust.

Just how long had she been unconscious?

She took one of the chairs and put it under the window, a lot less gracefully than she would have normally done it, if she hadn't been lying on the cold floor just a few moments ago, that is.

She climbed on the suspiciously cracking wooden construction and put her ear against the cool and slightly wet planks.

Forcing herself to take deep and slow breaths her heart rate slowed down and the pounding in her ears subsided. Closing her eyes she listened intently.

Faint voices reached her ears, speaking a language she couldn't quite identify yet. The shuffling of several feet passing her position which lead her to believe that her temporarily prison might be a basement of sorts.

That and the undeniable smell assaulting her nose.

The voices grew louder; she could make out words now.

"_Je ne sais pas… »_

…_incroyable ! » _

She closed her eyes and sighed inwardly.

At least she was still in France.

Suddenly the door was pushed open and a bulky figure entered, nearly causing her to loose her balance. She caught herself and climbed down automatically stepping into a defensive position.

Another person entered, his face hidden in the shadows he motioned the bully to leave them alone.

The door opened and closed again, leaving two apprehensive opponents as its single occupants.

The other figure stepped forward, the faint light revealing an achingly familiar face.

Ziva's breath caught in her throat, her voice strained.

"Ari…"

---

Six days earlier

A park bench somewhere in Paris, a lonely figure was reading a small, leather bound book.

The bench shifted as another person sat down on the other side.

"I didn't know you read Dante?"

Ziva smiled and closed the book, imagining the other woman's appearance. Conservative business suit with just that little bit hinted sexiness that regularly made men fall for the petite redhead that was Jennifer Sheppard.

She often used her delicate and fragile frame to her advantage, making her admirers believe she needed protection but not revealing the well-hidden steel core.

"Have to keep up with my Italian." She hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I lost him in Paris yesterday and haven't been able to get a hold on him again, yet."

A cold breeze passed the two women causing the redhead to pull her coat tighter.

"He left D.C. in a hurry. We could barely question him but it's not surprising after the stunt

Jethro pulled."

"What stunt?" Ziva asked, suddenly curious.

She could hear the smirk in Jen's voice when she answered. "He shot him."

Forgetting every security measure she turned her head so fast she thought for a moment she might have strained a muscle in her neck.

"He didn't."

The other woman chuckled softly and answered in a low voice.

"Oh, yes, he did. Pulled his gun and fired, just like that. Didn't even say a word."

Ziva grinned "Would have loved to be a fly on the ceiling, no wall was it, yes? " then suddenly serious she continued, "That complicates things a lot, Jen."

"Yes it does. We have your brother tracked to a little restaurant in Calais, maybe you'll be able to find him from there."

"Maybe, same place, same time?" She asked for the next meeting.

Jen nodded and silently got up, the bench shifting again.

Ziva took the small disk the other woman left and started the task of finding her renitent brother again.

---

Three days earlier

Calais was unusually cold and dark for the season. Huddled in her thick black coat, Ziva entered the small café where her contact should be waiting for her. She spotted him at one of the stylish, round tables in the back.

She hurried over and slumped down in a comfortable launch chair, rubbing her cold hands vigorously.

Her opponent chuckled slightly and took a sip of the hot beverage in front of him. He addressed her in flawless French.

"Ziva, how are you, you look cold. Come and order something. The camomile tea is the best you can get in the city."

She shot a disgusted look at his drink of choice causing him to grin mirthfully and answered with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm fine, Ben, thanks for asking. And you should know by now, that nobody besides you drinks that stuff."

She put her scarf next to her on the table and inconspicuously released the safety catch of her gun.

There were few people she completely trusted and her opponent wasn't one of them.

He sat down his cup and regarded her with something akin to curiosity.

"I suppose you're here to find Ari." No question, just a statement. Of course he already knew why she had contacted him. She nodded.

"Well, he actually told me to expect your visit. And he told me to tell you that he's in La Rochelle, that is…"

She cut him short. "I know where it is. Do you have an address?"

He chuckled again at her hurry and handed her a folded piece of paper. "Here, tell him hi from me, will you?"

Ben took his belongings, put a few euros on the table and vanished into the night.

---

Present

Ari hesitantly stepped forward and looked at her almost sheepishly.

"You found me."

She smiled and answered in her native tongue. "Did you think, I wouldn't? I hoped you had more faith in my abilities, brother."

He chuckled and motioned her over to the couch. She noticed that he held his arm in an awkward angle and didn't move it much.

"Still hurts, hm?"

He sat down and waited for her to do the same.

"I'm really sorry for the bump on your head, I told him to approach you carefully. By the way, letting down your guard like that, are you slacking, little sister?"

She grumbled something incomprehensible and refused to answer that. She'd already beaten up herself enough over her stupid mistake and didn't need her brother chastising her as well.

Ari leaned back, his face now completely visible to her for the first time since he'd entered the room.

She was startled at the weariness his eyes projected and not for the first time she asked herself just how much the burden he carried really weight.

"I suppose you want to know what I'm up to, since I officially took leave and everything?" She nodded and he continued, his voice almost a whisper "I almost have him, Ziva. I have enough to connect him to several weapon deals in the last years. And an opening in his staff, which I hope to get once I'm back in the states."

This was exactly what she had feared. His desire for revenge hadn't subsided over the last years. It had probably grown even more. And now he wanted her to stall for him, to get him more time. But could she really deny him his request. She wanted to see Caine's downfall as well, Kate would love to personally put a bullet in his head, as would their fathers.

That left her with only one real choice.

She looked him straight into the eyes.

"How can I help you?"

* * *

**A/N** 50 reviews. Still can't believe it. A huge thanks to all of you. 


	10. Chapter 10

A/N I'm terribly sorry for the delay and hope you're not going to kill me. I didn't have a pc for several weeks and then suffered a huge writers block. But I think I'm over it now so updates should be more regular again. Oh, I think I mentioned somewhere in the first chapters that this story was based on 'Mexico', but I'm afraid it took a mind of its own. I have another story in work based on the drabble but it will only be posted when it's done to avoid another huge delay between postings. So enough with my rambling and on with the story. :-)

PS: This chapter is dedicated to moregoth (hope I got that right). I wrote it in once after I read the last chapter of her/his? story 'Little did he know'. It was my inspiration so keep up the good work.

* * *

A small, dark blue Sedan slowly made its way up to the old house in the suburbs of Washington D.C. The car stopped right in front of the wooden gate and a small figure entirely clad in black emerged. 

Ziva knew she had to hurry. Even though people normally didn't pay attention to the happenings in their neighbourhood here, she didn't have a lot of time.

Experienced fingers made fast work on the old lock and she entered the front yard, carefully watching for any signs of activity.

The front door wasn't locked and she stepped in the dark house trusting her brother not to send her into a trap.

"Ari?" she called into the darkness. Suddenly a bright light blended her and trying to shield her eyes from the intensity she raised her arm.

"Do you have it?" her brother called back; rolling her eyes she turned around to where the sound seemed to be emerging.

"What, no hello beloved sister how are you? Did you have a nice trip? Did you not almost get caught while breaking into the office of my arc nemesis?" she replied sarcastically.

A rough chuckle answered her, undoubtedly the voice of her brother.

He emerged from the shadows a sheepish grin plastered across his handsome face.

"You're right. I'm sorry, but I really need that information" he told her intently. Sighing she handed him the folder she brought with her.

"Here it is" she regarded him carefully, watching for any sign of nervousness. "Every single one of Caine's contacts within the United States, as well as his most trusted employees. You know if you really want to do this you need to be careful" she warned "One mistake and you're not just jeopardizing our operations in D.C but Caitlin's and my safety, too. Kate's going to be the first target if your cover blows, so please be careful, yes?" she nearly pleaded with him.

He closed the folder and looked up; smiling gently he brushed a strand of her thick brown curls from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She captured his retreating hand and covered it with her own. God, she loved her brother. For years Ari had been the only constant in her life. Their father had never really shown an interest in his children and she had the feeling her brother still got the worse end of the deal. She at least could call herself a David. Sometimes she wondered how Ari could stand the pressure and the loneliness in his job.

"It's just, I don't want to loose you." Her voice was strained with withhold tears.

"Don't worry. Nothing will happen, I'll be fine." He whispered, both of them knowing that this was a lie; their jobs didn't come with any guaranties.

The insistent ringing of her cell brought them back to reality.

She looked at the caller ID, a number from London she didn't recognize.

"David. Yes, I am. What? When? Of course, I'll be there, no problem, I'll call as soon as I'm there. Goodbye."

The phone snapped shut and she looked at her brother.

"I have to go. We'll be in contact the usual way?" she inquired. Ari nodded and attempted to speak but she cut him off, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Take care." And with that she vanished again, hoping that not telling him wouldn't come back and bite her in the leg or whatever the saying was. But Ari didn't need any distractions right now if he wanted to survive his quest for revenge against the man who destroyed his family and the fragile happiness he once had.

Tyres screeching she left the driveway making her way to the hospital in the city where Caitlin Todd was currently being treated for a possibly life-threatening gunshot wound.

---

Donald Mallard had seen his best friend in many states over the course of their friendship. There was the driven determination nearly bothering on obsession a recent example being the hunt for Ari Haswari. There was the usual calm and intimidating exterior that made combat experienced soldiers quiver in their boots and of course the occasional mischief, mostly displayed when bantering with Abigail.

But never once had he seen Jethro Gibbs displaying fear so openly. Even when Tony had gotten himself abducted, Jethro had been able to hide the fear of loosing his senior agent. Usually you needed to know him very well to catch up on the little signs that betrayed his emotions and Ducky did indeed know him well enough to do so.

But this time was different. His friend seemed to be glued to the seat in the waiting area in the emergency room waiting for any news on their friend and colleague. They had rushed her in roughly two hours ago immediately preparing to remove the bullet that had punctured her lung and now stuck dangerously close to her spine.

Since then a nurse had come once to assure them that the OP went according to plan without complications but now all that was left to do was waiting.

Tony and McGee had come in shortly after they brought Caitlin; Gibbs never leaving her side, and the two of them lay currently snoring on the floor, their respective jackets serving as makeshift pillows.

Now they sat or in Ducky's case paced around and waited for the Doctor to hopefully tell them that she would make it.

"Ducky!" Abigail's voice startled him from his musings. The young Goth rushed in, clad in a long dark coat obviously thrown over her nightclothes, the dark hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.

She threw herself into his arms and wouldn't let go again.

"I heard what happened." She mumbled into his neck and then pulled back. By all her cheekiness and the flippant behaviour, Abby saw the team as a second family and she needed reassuring more than anybody else at the moment.

"Where's Gibbs?" she asked and immediately spotted him sitting in his uncomfortable plastic seat.

She approached him warily, taking in his defeat posture and the blood on his clothes she knew wasn't his but Kate's.

"Gibbs?" he looked up, surprised. It seemed he really hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings just then, a rather un-Gibbs behaviour. The look in his eyes frightened her. He looked so lost and beaten she had the urge to scratch him behind the ear or pat him on the head, like a lost puppy, because that was exactly what he reminded her of at the moment.

She sat down next to him and he smiled at her tiredly. Leaning her head on his shoulder she made herself comfortable while he put an arm around her and squeezed gently.

They would wait together.

Time passed in a daze, like a thick cotton pad covering the haunted entourage of federal agents desperate for any news of their wounded colleague and friend.

Gibbs found himself standing in front of the vending machine, contemplating whether to subject himself to the surely horrible sludge they called coffee or not.

He closed his eyes and tried to banish the haunting images of a bleeding Kate that where stuck in his mind, like a film on replay. He should have been faster, better prepared, and more observant.

Should have, could have, would have, three of the saddest and most useless phrases he'd ever come across. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget, couldn't stop the blame he placed on himself even if he knew that technically he couldn't have done anything to prevent it.

And somewhere in this mess he had been forced to admit one or two harsh truths. He wasn't objective anymore when it came to Caitlin Todd, the line between co-workers, friends and something more was so blurred by now it might as well have been nonexistent. Maybe it was time to change their status quo, he thought. He had lost a woman he loved once, and today his inevitable nightmare had returned, following him like a bloodhound, always waiting for his weakest moments to make his life a living hell.

A young, brown haired woman approaching him interrupted his thoughts. She looked rather out of breath, with long, dark, curly hair, warm brown eyes and honey coloured skin.

Middle East, he suspected.

"Are you Agent Gibbs?" she asked something akin to fear in her eyes. He noticed her hands twisting nervously and she bit her lower lip making her appear incredibly young.

"Yes, I am. What can I do for you?" he asked tiredly.

"I'm…my name is David, Ziva David." He shook the hand she offered him. " I'm a friend of Caitlin Todd. Her father called me from London and asked if I was in the area. Please, tell me how Kate is." She pleaded, something indistinguishable in her expression and looking into her eyes he noticed for a fleeting moment something awfully familiar, something he couldn't quite pinpoint. Where had he seen eyes like this before?

"The surgery went well, according to the Doctor. They say if she makes it through the night, she'll probably be okay." He reassured her and he could see her visibly relaxing, like somebody had taken a huge weight from her shoulders.

"She smiled almost shyly. "So all we can do is wait, right?"

He nodded in agreement and then gently took her arm guiding her to the waiting area.

"Come on, Miss David. I'll introduce you to the rest of the team."

* * *

A huge thanks for all your nice reviews. They keep me going. 


	11. Chapter 11

A/N Wow, has it really been that long. I'm half way through my finals so I have a bit time to write again until the second part starts. Hope you like this chapter and thanks to all those who are still reading and reviewing. Seeing all those messages in my inbox keeps me going even if I'm swamped with school and work like it has been the case for the last few weeks. On a happy note, the new NCIS season has finally started here, yay.

Now enjoy!

* * *

„You know my boss was very impressed with your performance." Dominique's sultry voice cut through the lazy fog on his mind and her warm breath tickled the shell of his ear. Her hand on his chest wandered lower over the well-defined muscles of his abdomen down to… 

He hissed and caught her wrist. "Not now ma chere. I believe you were telling me about your boss." She wriggled a bit in his grasp and annoyed he shoved her to the side and got up gathering his clothes that had been discharged the night before. He looked back at her beautiful face and felt nothing but annoyance. She was only a toy to him, another pawn in the game he played. And while he played he desperately missed the simple elegance his former wife had perfected, he missed it when he caught Dominique in her colourful silk nightgowns, sexy but too much. The overdone opulence of her bedroom threatened to choke him and he yearned for the simple yet warm flair their house in D.C. had always radiated.

He wanted that back.

The life he once had.

But he knew he never could so he settled for making the man pay who had taken that life from him and so he played.

A game that would hopefully result in the downfall of Andrew Caine.

Until then he spent his time amusing the blonde in his bed and secretly planning her employer's demise.

Sometimes he hated himself for doing this, for betraying the image of the beautiful brunette in his mind, for using people the way he had the last ten years or so.

But when his repulsion of himself became too much he just had to look at a picture of his son, his Adam, the little innocent two years old with his eyes and Caitlin's smile and he remembered why he did it.

Remembered why revenge had such a sweet taste he couldn't possible stay away from the abyss.

His companion languidly stretched herself and shot him a look with those bedroom eyes while smiling sweetly.

He felt nothing.

When he didn't react to her obvious attempt to get him back into the bed and he began to put his clothes back on instead she pouted and entangled herself from the sheets.

"He wants to see you tomorrow evening. Be on time, he hates unpunctuality." She spat and threw on her silky green robe. He heard the door slamming shut but didn't turn around.

The plan was simple yet elegant. Get himself as deep as possible into the lion's den and then the trap would hopefully snap shut and he could finally get his revenge and if he was really lucky maybe even find peace again.

* * *

Sleeping on the floor was a bad idea Tony Dinozzo decided in the moment he woke up from his slumber on the white cold linoleum. 

His bones cracked upon lifting himself from the ground and he was painfully aware of every one of his thirty something years with that move.

Soft snoring alerted him to his neighbour and he chuckled softly upon seeing McGee drooling on the jacket the younger agent was using as a pillow.

A jacket that looked suspiciously like his.

"Probie:" A hard jab with the elbow startled the other man from his sleep and he jerked up.

"What?" He asked groggily and turned around to look at the Italian.

"Dammit, Tony. Why did you do that?" he asked annoyed.

"You were drooling on my jacket." Tony replied and pulled the aforementioned object from the ground struggling a bit before McGee caught up and removed his hand from the sleeve.

"Sorry, didn't know that…" he was cut off by Gibbs approaching the small group a petite brunette in tow that looked vaguely familiar to Tony though he couldn't quite place her.

The two agents struggled to get up but managed until Gibbs got to them even though they still swayed slightly the tiredness not quite having left their bodies yet.

Gibbs nodded in silent greeting and motioned Abby and Ducky over to them.

"This is Ziva David. Kate's father called her from London." He turned to the young woman. "Ms David. These are Special Agents Anthony Dinozzo, Timothy McGee, Abigail Sciuto our forensic expert and Dr Donald Mallard, Medical Examiner."

Ziva smiled almost shyly and nodded at each of them.

"I'm actually an old friend of Kate and it's nice to finally meet you though I wish it would have been under better circumstances."

A man approaching interrupted them his blue hospital scrubs clearly identifying him as a doctor.

His solemn expression told them nothing and time seemed to slow down to the point of absolute immobility while they waited for him to speak.

To reassure them that she would be ok.

That she would survive and recover and be back in their midst laughing and teasing and being the woman they all cherished and loved. The sister, the friend the daughter and the possibility Gibbs had never allowed himself, the lover.

"Agent Gibbs, we have successfully removed the bullet and the op went without complications. We have to wait through the night but it looks good. She'll probably make a full recovery in no time." The doctor smiled a fleeting, reassuring smile and was gone leaving the group speechless in his wake seemingly unaware of the impact his little speech just had.

A huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders.

Kate would be all right.

* * *

Roughly two hours later Tony found himself in the hospital cafeteria on the desperate hunt for coffee. Not only was Gibbs running on his last reserves but Tony found himself craving the dark bitter liquid as well. 

He stopped upon noticing the single lonely figure occupying one of the plastic tables.

Ziva.

He made his way over to her and sat down noticing the dark rings under her eyes and the way she stared at the cup of now probably ice cold coffee in front of her.

"Ms David?" Startled she looked up and smiled a tired smile.

"Please call me Ziva, Ms David sounds so formal." She replied something undistinguishable in her voice.

"All right, Ziva is it then. And call me Tony." He said flashing her a beaming smile hoping to cheer her up a bit. Somehow he found himself enamoured by her dark almost obsidian coloured eyes, they drew him in like a moth to the flame and he wanted to take away their expression of pain and loneliness and replace it with something light-hearted.

He wanted to see them filled with laughter, twinkling with mischief, heavy with lust…

Whoa, stop. Where the hell had that thought come from. He barely even knew her and he sure as hell didn't believe in love at first sight.

No, he had to focus here, one step at a time. First he wanted to find out what she was doing here when she had spent the last hours as a fixture at Kate's bedside.

She obviously anticipated his question.

"I couldn't stay there anymore. Seeing her lying there. She…she is so pale even more than usual. I needed to get out for a while, to think." He caught her fidgeting hand with his own and squeezed it gently in understanding.

"I know the feeling. I can't look at her and not remember the sound of the shot or the blood on her after it and the waiting for the ambulance…"

It was her turn to reassure him and she smiled softly and for moment he wondered.

Wondered whether there existed a reality where they had met under different circumstances as she had stated earlier, a reality maybe where they would have never met or one where they were nothing but two strangers fleetingly meeting in a crowd maybe, he marvelled over the possibilities and when he looked into her eyes again he found them all wanting.

Despite everything that had happened in the last 24 hours he was strangely confident that things would be ok.

Kate would recover, Gibbs would go back to being his usual grumpy self and he would have time to investigate the strange connection he felt to the woman sitting across from him at the table.

There would be hitches along the ride, it was going to be one rocky road that was for sure but they were a family, they would manage.

That he knew.

An excited looking McGee pulled them from their reverie and his greeting words got them up very quickly.

"She's awake."

* * *

Hope you liked. Tell me what you think. 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Writer's block is not fun...

* * *

While her friends and co-workers waited for her to wake up, Caitlin Todd struggled through the hazy fog on her mind that came with being drugged up after a life threatening surgery.

She tried to open her eyes but her lids wouldn't comply, the pull from the narcosis still too strong to overcome.

Her mind reached out for something to anchor her in reality and the action manifested in her fingers twisting and her eyelids fluttering. And just when she thought she lost the fight somebody caught her.

Strong fingers grasping hers, curling around her hand in a firm grip and pulling her back before she lost her balance again and fell over the edge.

"Kate." A faint voice reached her ears.

She blinked and opened her eyes fully, squinting when the uncomfortable light reached her eyes. The first thing she saw was the ceiling, unmistakeable in a hospital. Then she noticed the hand around hers, big and strong, a hand she knew all too well. Her eyes travelled upwards over the grey, crumpled shirt taking in the dishevelled appearance of its owner before settling on his face.

She was met with a warm, gentle smile and tired blue eyes.

"Hey."

Still too tired to answer she answered with a smile of her own.

"God, Kate…" Gibbs' voice faltered for a moment "scared the hell outta me. Don't do this again, ever."

She frowned trying to remember what the hell happened to her but her memory was blank. The last thing she remembered was sitting in the observation van and arguing with Tony and then McGee's voice over the micro calling for help. They'd rushed out of the van and into the alley when…

Her eyes snapped up to Gibbs when the events of the night finally came back to her. They'd gone in thinking it was safe. Well, as safe as every undercover job ever was but this time they only had Intel from the FBI to rely on and obviously that had been a mistake.

Otherwise she wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed now with absolutely no recollection of the last 24 hours or so.

"Tony, McGee…they…they're all right?" she managed to croak out clearly remembering Tony's frantic voice when she went down.

"They're fine. Waiting outside with Ducky and Abby."

She smiled at him and tightened her fingers tangled with his but her lids where heavy again and she finally lost the fight succumbing to the all-encasing darkness of sleep.

* * *

The next time she woke up, there where more people than just Gibbs in her room. While their Boss had fallen asleep in the chair next to her bed, Abby lay softly snoring on McGee's shoulder, who had managed to arrange the rest of the chairs in the room so he and the young Goth could both fit onto them.

Ducky stood with his back to her bed gazing out of the window where the dawn was already sending the first rays of sunlight into the room.

Despite her current state Kate managed a weak smile. They must have been in the hospital the whole night. Puzzled she noticed that only Tony seemed to be missing.

Where the hell was he?

Before she could make herself known, Ducky turned around and upon seeing her awake smiled warmly.

"Caitlin." He said in a low voice and stepped over to her bed. Throwing a look to his still sleeping friend at the other side he carefully took her hand between his palms and squeezed gently.

"You had us worried for a while. Jethro especially, he didn't leave your side for a moment." He finished with a knowing expression on his face.

If she had been able to she would have rolled her eyes at the slightly smug tone in his voice; it seemed the medical examiner still hadn't given up on his friend's love life.

Kate struggled a bit with her voice but then she managed to ask for Tony.

"Our friend is down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. And there's a young lady here who says that your father has sent her. A Miss David if I remember correctly."

"Ziva's here?" she asked and Ducky nodded in response. She hadn't expected that. Sure, she'd always wanted her to meet her friends and colleagues but she would have preferred to be the one doing the introductions. She just hoped nobody had caught up on her relation to Ari yet. That was one bridge she would cross when the time arrived but not earlier and certainly not while she was lying in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot wound.

Abby began to stir and her actions roused McGee from his slumber. Upon seeing Kate he hastily struggled to get up carefully extracting himself from the young Goth on his shoulder. Gently he arranged her body so she could sleep on without falling down before stepping over to the bed with a huge grin on his face.

"Kate, you're awake." He stated silently and she smiled at him.

"Do me a favour?" she managed to ask and he eagerly nodded his head.

"Go and fetch Tony and Ziva for me?" Still grinning McGee swirled around and left leaving a smiling Kate and a chuckling Ducky in his wake.

A spike of pain shot through her body and she closed her eyes and grimaced. Concerned at her expression Ducky gently placed a hand on her arm.

"Kate, everything all right? Should I call a nurse?" but she shook her head and waited until the steady flow of morphine would kick in again.

A shadow falling on the bed caught her attention; the room's third occupant had woken up and was now standing next to her.

"Hey." His voice was warm and still rough from sleeping in the uncomfortable chair for so long. Ducky smiled knowingly at them and excused himself leaving the two in silence.

A silence that didn't last for very long.

The door opened again but with a lot more force and in came a breathless Tony with Ziva not far behind. Upon seeing his colleague awake again he grinned and rushed over to the bed.

"Kate… you're awake. How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"She was shot. How do you think she's feeling?" Ziva quipped and made her way to the other side of the bed.

"_He's nice but hits on everything with a skirt."_ She said in Hebrew and Kate giggled in response.

Tony was left speechless for a moment but recovered soon enough.

"Kate…you, she, what the hell was that?" he stammered but stopped upon meeting Gibbs' glare.

"Right, shutting up now, sorry boss."

"How about you all get some sleep now", Tony started to protest but was stopped by a hand rising "I mean some real sleep, in a bed. I will stay here but you're no good dead on your feet." He looked down at her and she nodded.

"Gibbs is right. You look terrible by the way."

Tony scowled a bit but knowing they where right grabbed McGee and turned to the door.

"What about her?" Tony asked motioning to the still sleeping Abby.

"I'll take care of her." Gibbs answered and smiling at Kate a last time Tony left, dragging McGee with him.

Gibbs chuckled softly and stepped over to the young Goth. Gently he scooped her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed next to Kate's.

"I meant all of us, you know? You should sleep, too."

She smiled and nodded.

"What about you?" she asked and he motioned to the third bed in the room.

"I'll be sleeping as well, Kate, don't worry."

* * *

When Ducky returned to Kate's room a few minutes later, he found all three beds occupied and his friends sleeping.

Smiling to himself he took the chair Gibb's had slept in and settled himself until they would wake up again.


End file.
